WHEN I WAS SIX

It is dark in here
I cannot see
Please just let me out
just let me be.

The air is thick
My throat is dry
I feel so sick
I just might die.

What are you doing?
Why can't I see?
Are you planning to do
something to me?

"Let me out!"
I begged and I pleaded,
"Let me out!"

Finally, with some hesitation
you let me out
but only to be abrasive.

"Take off your pants"
you said this to me,
"Take off your pants,
I want to see".

"NO!"
I said.
"NO!"
Again.

"Take off your pants,
or we won't be your friends."

My mind began racing
no friends would I have,
so trembling and scared
I pulled them down to my calves.

"Turn around"
They demanded.
I turned round and round,
shaking and hurting
from the stare that I had found.

"Take off you pants"
They said to my friend,
He did as told
afraid to offend.

"Turn in front of her,
show yourself"

He did as he was told,
and I stood
watching
wondering
waiting.

How had I gotten here?
How will I leave?
What else will happen
to this body that's me?

"Take off your shirt,
are you listening to me?"
again,
"Take off your shirt,
and turn in front of me."

Numb from pain
and disbelief
and fear
I took off my shirt
and turned in
front of the sneers.

"Take off your shirt too"
they said this to him,
"Take off your shirt,
and lie down on top of her!"

What are they doing,
What are they thinking,
I don't want to lay
underneath of this boy.

"Please don't do this"
I said quietly.
Please don't do this,
I thought desperately.

"Do it or leave,
and never come back!"
These threats of
abandonment
put me on my back.

His small trembling body
all pale and cold
lay atop mine,
the one that felt so nulled.

And just at that point
the door swung open
and there stood the boys mother,
with mouth wide open!

We are saved!
I thought
but before I could think,
she opened her mouth
and showed all her teeth.

She yelled and she screamed
at the top of her voice,
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING,
GET OUT OF MY HOUSE,
YOU ARE SICK AND PERVERTED,
GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

In pure horror we scrambled,
we pulled on our clothes,
that we never wanted off,
and we ran from that house,
far from it all,
far from the boys
that started it all.

Thirteen and Ten
were there ages there
six were ours,
not knowing quite what
we did in that house
on that quiet street block.

I ran home to mom,
she always comforted me,
I ran home to mom,
I knew my safety.

I sat on the step,
my tears pouring,
she opened the door,
and asked what
was wrong with her darling.

With red eyes I looked
at her reassuring face
I spilt out my guts
of that horrible place.

She took one look at me
and said with a grin
"Honey, that was only
children experimentin."